April 2nd 1787

Truly Spring cannot come soon enough! I am weary of the cold, weary of the wet, and at the moment exceedingly weary of house guests. The Chevalier as been at Portaberaud with me on a number of occasions this season, despite needing frequently to return to Paris to assist his father with some various duties in the running of the estates. He has not divulged exactly what affairs these are, and it has not alleviated my suspicious concerns one jot, but so it is. Where once I was want to entertain him for the duration of his visits I increasingly leave him to his own devices and go about my own tasks while he is here. There is a pleasing domesticity in this. 

Maman and her husband have also been to visit, though they are settled quite near me here in Riom and only stay as guests because we have a habit of playing cards or singing and playing music until it is quite late. The roads are good, but it is just much easier in the colder weather for them to wait until morning to depart in these cases. This has happened many times this year so far. 

My dear friend Elizabeth R- writes to tell me that, contrary to any rumors of the Chevalier's interest in other women, the only rumor related to his romantic entanglements involves our own and he is said to be much in love. This should cheer me greatly, however, I cannot seem to be easy in this regard. Too many nights I have found myself with a strange sense of impending disaster, as if some terrible calamity were close at hand. I cannot account for it. I had thought to distract myself from this when Emilie proposed another visit and, although she is not always a comfort, I did look forward to entertaining her again. Not surprisingly, given past observations of my own, her visit was to have coincided with one from the Chevalier, but at the last he was required to remain in Paris on business and she came away on her own. Gossip is her forte and I at last realized that very little response was required from me in order to keep her engaged. By this method we passed several days without my hardly needing to utter a single full sentence; such is her enthusiasm that she has a habit of speaking even as her conversation partner is yet speaking themselves. While this at first amused me, it became rather dreary by the end of the visit. Whether it was due to the Chevalier's absence, as I suspect, or her own sense of my tiring of her companionship, she left a day earlier than expected citing some pressing social engagement for which she wished to prepare. I must remember to ask Elizabeth about Emilie's prospects at present, as she is still young and likely to marry within a few years.

The rents are collected, but as has been true of the last few years the needs of my properties seem to outweigh the value. I am determined this year to expend considerable capital to ensure that next year the needs may be fewer and the profit more dependable. I have debts that must be serviced and it is my intention this year to spend less time in Paris or at Versailles, unless the Princess should recall me, and thereby save money with which to provide the capital for improvements. I have told Marianne that we will likely repair to Saint-Saturnin sometime in May when the weather has warmed, and written ahead to my steward to inform him of the same. 

Olympe