No sooner had she departed than a letter arrived from my steward informing me that there is almost no money left to send unless I raise the rents of my tenants back in Auvergne. This I am most unwilling to do, but I must or else find a charge at court quickly, which is difficult to do without the money to purchase one. I could ask F-, but that I am even more unwilling to do. I feel myself slipping into his power already and a sizeable loan would only strengthen the impression. Of course I could ask Thierry, and he would give it to me if he were able, especially as I have done as much for him many times over the years, but I am not sure that he could do so, and he will stretch himself beyond his means to help me. I go tomorrow to sell some jewelry and see if that will be enough for now.
I have promised myself that this year I will be more frugal. I will sell l'Hotel de Sully in the spring and take a more modest house, perhaps outside of the city, in the autumn. I must sell at least one of my estates in Auvergne, but I dare not rid myself of Lespinasse whilst Maman lives, for it was her childhood home. Still, soon I think decisions must be made, and I will have to make excuses for not joining in many of the frivolities of my friends. It would be good to relieve myself of these debts before the wedding. I am determined, all shall be well.