Tuesday, March 4, 2014

February 28th, 1784

This year continues very ill for us. Caught between his family's reluctance and his own inclination, Thierry waited too long and we were not yet in Riom when his grandmother passed away. In the end she barely knew any of her own friends or relations, but she had asked that little fuss be made over her remains, only that she be remembered in the spring when the flowers were in bloom.

I had some hope of expecting a child this last month, but it also came to naught, and as I had not confessed my thought to my husband he is not in the least concerned with what might have been. Instead he worries without ceasing, over what might be if we do not find either an increase in our income, or a manner of relieving our expenses. Meanwhile I feel that we live comfortably, though not lavishly, and have myself been far more troubled by such worries in the past. My step-father continues very ill, and does not speak after his accident, which has Maman quite distressed though Andre does his best to soothe her, being again at home in Riom with them and Matthieu. My cousin, the Duc de Bouillon, writes that he has papers about which we must speak, and he urges me to travel to Paris, but does not state their purpose.

Indeed, I may soon have reason to travel there in any case, as Madame Elizabeth, the King's sister, requests my return to serve her once more. I need not come at once though, which is well as the roads are especially treacherous at this time of year, and only today we had snow. The charge at court may present more income, but would bring attendant expenses which could vastly outweigh the gain.

As ever, the way forward is fraught with shadows.
Comtesse d'Auvergne
Marquise de Mercoeur

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