August 18th, 1786

It is well said, “Quand on a pas ce que l’on aime, il faut aimer ce que l’on a” (When one doesn’t have the things that one loves, one must love what one has.) I have been trying desperately to love what I have, but it is a hard thing to see others have much of what one would wish. Maman sends word that a distant cousin, Julia, is to have a child in the next year though she is more than ten years my junior. The Chevalier does his best to cheer me, and his ardent affections are very welcome even as my heart fears for its own recklessness. 

Nor is it solely family matters which burden my spirit of late. I received sudden notice a week ago that I must vacate my rooms for use by another, leaving me without a home to go to unless I returned to my own properties. I am engaged at present in packing the few items which are my own, and preparing therefore to return to Riom and my home at Portaberaud. At first I attempted to object. To the shortness of the notice, to the cruelty of the removal, but alas, to no avail. The Chevalier has offered to accompany me, and I am caught between retreating to lick my wounds in solitude, or hosting several friends to distract me from it. Either way I am unlikely to see Maman and the rest of the family as they are away visiting with my brother Andre and his wife, Sonya in Normandy. 

Meanwhile Mattieu is somewhere in the Mediterranean aboard the Auguste and we are not likely to see him until the end of the year, a fact which Maman bewails in every letter. I think it has been most difficult for her to resign herself to his independence, as she has long since become accustomed to my own. Certainly in my situation it was a bit different thanks to my father, the Comte.

I think I have decided. I will accept the Chevalier's offer and bring life and pleasure back to Auvergne with me. We need not stay long, and can either return to Paris after new arrangements are made, or travel on to Saint Saturnin. Now to return to preparations.

Olympe