August 25th 1786

 

Arrived in Riom with attendant company, but found myself in low spirits still. This was not in any way allayed when a missive arrived from Versailles with a demand for recompense owing to the state of my lodgings. All who saw it felt this most unfair, and indeed the Chevalier had to be convinced not to write a strongly-worded letter to the little bureaucrat who had sent it. In my own defense all I can say is that the rooms were not in any worse condition than those in which I found them at the time I first took up residence. My feeling is one of being under constant threat and my dear friends are finding it hard to alleviate that. I feel that I am being persecuted, but have not the evidence to prove it.

The Chevalier, having an acquaintance of his own in a neighboring town, is away for the evening and will return tomorrow, but before he left he brought me a charming bouquet (though it was harvested from my own garden) and was most tender. I read to distract myself, but find that the book drops absently from my hands as often as I pick it up again. I have sent to Paris for fabric I had ordered to be sent instead to me here so that I might have something new made before the weather turns cold again. I had been thinking of a new court gown, but am relieved to know now that it was not needed else it would have been a tremendous waste of money, and that seems to be an unending concern.

I am being importuned to seek the advice of a doctor, as my breathing is more strained and my heart palpitates fearfully at times. I do not know that he will be able to assist me when it is the situation which requires remedy not myself, but we shall see what he says when he comes. Perhaps at the very least he may give me a sleeping draught and a few hours of blissful insensibility.

-Olympe