April 23, 1780

Word at last from F- who arrived himself to tell me of it. One look at his face and I suddenly realized how serious it truly was, I think until now I have been determined not to think about it. He suggested we speak as privately as possible, and once safely away from prying ears he said that they had found the person responsible for poisoning me, and yet had not found him. I must say it was a very confusing way to reassure me.

They caught the footman Robert leaving this morning with a bottle in his pocket. He claimed to be on an errand to the laundress, but no one had sent him, and the discovery of the bottle only confirmed their suspicions. The bottle has been sent to an apothecary to determine it's contents, as Robert insists it's a medicine of some kind. This does explain why I fell ill following the meals that Pauline brought to me, the only question is whether her husband tricked her, or if she is complicit.

I had thought that this was the end of it, but F- insists that there may be something or even someone yet to blame. I have been unable to do anything but worry ever since, but F- has remained with me much of the day and assures me that soon I can return home. After this I feel the pull of Auvergne calling me back, perhaps even as far as Saint Saturnin instead of stopping in Riom for a while. I just suddenly want to flee far away from Paris, from this separation from Thierry, from this danger, from duels and poisons, and problems with my servants, and the gossip and the expense, and the problem of the King's offer.

I only came to press my suit for the land, but it has all become very complicated and I wish I hadn't come. I feel that I am complaining too much. Right now I should be glad merely to be alive. If the bottle really is medicine then we should see if Robert is inclined to take some himself.

Olympe, Comtesse