Sunday, June 5, 2011

May 16th, 1781

Thierry and I have developed a plan. I cannot know for sure whether the Marquis will agree to my wishes, especially considering his attitude towards them over the last few months. I do not entirely trust this latest, more kindly, behavior and wonder how long it can last, so we are proceeding as if he will not allow me to leave.

Nevertheless I did send a note to him this morning to ask if he would come to see me this afternoon before the ball. He sent one back saying that he was very busy and would see me tonight. Naturally I could not say what was needed there. I've made it known that I am not at home to visitors and will hold no Lever until after the wedding.

The ball in honor of our wedding was held tonight and everyone I could think of was there. The room was terribly warm and the open windows allowed the moonlight to stream in. I wore a new gown in lavendar, which has always been most becoming on me. F- was at ease in his role as host, but I could hardly hide my unhappiness for I am no actress and never have been. Maman was fairly in tears with joy, quite unconscious of my feelings, but that comes as little surprise. I realized that she, of course, endured a marriage not of her making when she wed my father so she probably has little sympathy for my plight.

Naturally I had to dance with everyone and it was in the middle of one such dance that I saw Thierry. He had not to my knowledge been invited, but there he was. In the next set he joined the dancers and for a few moments we were together before I was whirled away again. I know my eyes followed him about the room, but I had no care for the gossip of others. I lost him as the dancers broke ranks for refreshment, and when next I looked for him he was gone.

Tomorrow we set the plan in motion. Pray God we are not prevented.
Olympe, Comtesse

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