It is interesting to me, as I write this little diary, how I cannot change who this person is, but having foreknowledge of approaching events I can see how devastated she will be. I mean, truly, she is devoted to her province and believes herself to be good to the people who live there, yet these same people are going to rise up and overthrow her and she will be forced to flee her beloved home or die.
She seeks to gain part of the land back, but she can't hold it for long even if she succeeds. She loves a man who is sort of in that hazy area between aristocracy and bourgeoisie, so she can be a traitor to her class, or he can be a traitor to his, but either way they're both going to suffer. She thinks things are bad now, but they are going to get a whole lot worse.
She wants the American colonists to win and the french soldiers to come home, but they are going to bring back ideas and precedents that will turn her world upside down. She thinks Lafayette is a hero, but he's going to help lead France into chaos.
It's like a train on a track that has been destroyed; there's just no avoiding the wreck ahead, and she's in the dining car wondering about supper with no idea what she's headed for.